WEAR: Fashion Deal Breakers

21 Mar

The saying ‘love is blind’ gets trotted out on a regularl basis and in general I agree with this sentiment but there are some fashion faux-pas that should simply not be forgiven.  If any of your loved ones should attempt to leave the house wearing such an outfit then I would suggest an intervention of some sort. These include (but are not limited to) the following;

Cargo Pants- Why on earth do you need pockets THERE? If the pants are tight fitting and you put something in the pockets they’ll bulge, if they are loose the contents will slap your leg as you walk. It is also worth keeping in mind that should you need to retrieve an item from one of these inappropriately placed pockets you will be forced to assume an uncomfortable sideways crouching postion. These were once worn only by compter programmers and the chronically fashion challenged but nowadays even designers are jumping on the bandwagon. Check out these puppies from Balmain which will set you back USD$4,705. Umm, I think i’ll pass!

Wearing Running Shoes Casually- Let me clarify. I’m not talking about fashion sneakers here. What I am talking about is the look favoured by Jerry Seinfeld; running shoes worn casually. This particular type of footwear is not designed to be worn on a daily basis. It is designed to be worn when undertaking particular kinds of physical activity. This look often goes hand-in-hand with #1. Equally bad is the socks+sandals combination.

White Pants- White pants should be avoided at all costs. Not only are they completely unforgiving, showing up every little stains and spill, they are also equally unforgiving when it comes to showing everyone your bum. I don’t want to see your underwear and if said underwear is not providing adequate converage I most certainly do not want to see your bum. Sure, there are some people who might enjoy seeing this but they can easily use the internet to fulfil such desires. Please don’t inflict this on the unwilling majority. Don’t. Just don’t.

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3 Responses to “WEAR: Fashion Deal Breakers”

  1. progressivescholar March 21, 2010 at 3:41 PM #

    I violate two out of three of these “fashion faux-pas” on a regular basis, and I still have people who love me for who I am. Imagine that. :)

    • lipservicelibrarian March 21, 2010 at 3:59 PM #

      I hope it is obvious that I would never actually make my final judgement of someone based on their outfit choice. This is the problem with the internet. Tone seems to get obscured…

      p.s. I had a look at the ‘About’ section of your blog. I’m an INTP. Turns out we’re probably not as different (at least personality wise) as you might have imagined!

      • progressivescholar March 22, 2010 at 10:08 AM #

        I don’t know what your intended tone was, but I think the fact that you were impassioned enough to write a post like this says a lot.

        Personally I couldn’t care less about the socially constructed rules regarding the appropriate type and style of fabric that one wears to cover their body (a.k.a., “fashion”). I figure as long as you are not leaving the house naked, I have no say over what clothes you choose to wear. Forcing someone to stop wearing certain clothes/shoes just because they do not meet *your* sensibilities is self-serving and rude. If you don’t like white pants, cargo pants, or running shoes, don’t wear them. Problem solved!

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